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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27778828">filling the gaps</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gigglesandfreckles/pseuds/gigglesandfreckles'>gigglesandfreckles</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Disaster Lineage, Except They're Not Grand Master &amp; Grand Padawan Yet and Won't Be For A Lot of Years, Fluff, Grand Master &amp; Grand Padawan Bonding (Star Wars), Master &amp; Padawan Relationship(s), Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi is Trying, lineage feels, post-TPM</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:20:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27778828</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gigglesandfreckles/pseuds/gigglesandfreckles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After the horror of Naboo, Obi-Wan has flipped from Padawan to having a Padawan in a matter of hours and he's not sure how much longer he can pretend like he's okay. Thankfully, this one spunkyyoungling who keeps popping up in the corners of his life seems to know what to do.</p><p>(or: baby!Soka unknowingly helps new Knight!Kenobi figure things out and braids his hair along the way)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Obi-Wan Kenobi &amp; Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi &amp; Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi &amp; Anakin Skywalker &amp; Ahsoka Tano</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>104</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>490</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I wrote a couple one-shots...<a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27585275/chapters/67480808"> a two-shot, if you will</a>...about these two interacting in a TPM world and it sent me into a pit of young Obi-Wan and Ahsoka insanity so here we are! (Those one-shots do not affect this story, so they're not necessary to read unless you wanna!) This is my first true multi-chap so I'm excited and nervous, but here we go...</p><p>*to be updated weekly (...I hope)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They walked silently.</p><p>Briefly, Obi-Wan wondered whether the small boy at his side was doing okay. This would be overwhelming for him, no doubt. Though he’d only had a handful of direct interactions with the child, he was pretty confident in his assertion that Anakin Skywalker was by no means what one would call <em> quiet</em>.</p><p>In the end, his selfishness won out and Obi-Wan chose not to disrupt the silence between them.</p><p>It was easier that way.</p><p>Obi-Wan tapped a few numbers on the keypad and watched as the door slid open. As an afterthought, he realised–</p><p>“Oh, um, the code is...05199,” he said awkwardly, looking down at the youngling.</p><p>“Okay.” Anakin nodded in a way that suggested Obi-Wan would be reminding him at least five more times.</p><p>Obi-Wan walked into the room and flipped the small switch by the door.</p><p>Somehow, the room looked the same as when he had left. It didn’t make sense how so much could have <em> changed </em> yet the black couch still sat with the rumpled blanket and the single pan still sat unwashed in the sink and the <em> door to Qui-Gon’s room </em> still stood ajar.</p><p>Obi-Wan took a shaky breath, paying special mind to insure its silence.</p><p>“You can–you can sit in here for a moment while I get some things in order.” He gestured toward the couch.</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Obi-Wan walked to his room and closed the door behind him, falling against it.</p><p>He hadn’t been by himself for a single moment since Naboo, which was strange because regardless of how many people had been around him, he’d never felt <em> so alone. </em></p><p>He was a Knight now. Just this morning, the Council had held a small ceremony and Master Yoda had lobbed off his Padawan braid, an abrupt end to the season of life he had been so anxious to get out of. He wondered if the Force found humour in his misery at finally being on the other side.</p><p>Obi-Wan supposed there would be greater joy in becoming a Knight if your Master was present at the ceremony and not laying in charred remains on a funeral pyre.</p><p>The room appeared as it had before, but it no longer offered the comfort and sanctuary he had always found there. Gone were the days of sitting in the over-sized window with a book or cramming for an exam at his desk. Instead, his time would be spent developing training regimes and completing mission reports. Suddenly, he wished he had paid more attention to how Qui-Gon had done those things.</p><p>He wished a lot of things–but wishing wouldn’t replace the small, scared boy sitting on the couch in the common room with his Master.</p><p>Obi-Wan moved about the room, gathering the bits and pieces of the life he already felt detached from. Textbooks from classes he would no longer attend and holo-pics from memories he no longer felt entitled to. Within minutes, he had the remnants of his Padawan life in his arms.</p><p>When he re-entered the common area, Anakin was still sitting exactly where Obi-Wan had left him. The boy was perched on the edge of the couch, his back rigidly straight. </p><p>“Anakin,” said Obi-Wan. The youngling turned around. “I’m going to move a couple of things and you can–you can have my old room.”</p><p>“You’re switching rooms?” Anakin tilted his head. It was the most words he’d said all day.</p><p>“Yes,” Obi-Wan nodded, shifting the belongings in his arms. “You’ll like my old one. It has the bigger window.”</p><p>“But why don’t you want to stay in it?”</p><p>Obi-Wan paused. “I–I just wanted a change.” He took another deep breath, stabilising himself again. “No reason.”</p><p>How could he explain to Anakin that the thought of the small boy living in his Master’s old quarters made Obi-Wan sick to his stomach?</p><p>--</p><p>When Obi-Wan woke to a wall on his right side instead of his left, he had to remind himself that this wasn’t his room. Well, it was <em> now</em>. But things were different and his quarters were the least of his concerns.</p><p>He shrugged on a robe and trudged into the common room, steeling himself before opening his door. The common area was quiet and the door to Obi-Wan’s–<em>Anakin’s</em>–room was still closed. He stood in the middle of the common area, unsure of what to do.</p><p>Was he supposed to wake Anakin up?</p><p>He couldn’t remember Qui-Gon ever physically waking him up, but Obi-Wan had always been an early riser, so that had never been an issue. The idea of tangibly shaking Anakin awake was uncomfortable and felt far too intimate for the relationship they had barely established.</p><p>Obi-Wan decided to let Anakin wake on his own time. It had been a busy couple of days for them both with the Queen’s celebration in Naboo, transportation back to Coruscant, and Council meetings. He deserved a chance to catch up on the sleep that likely alluded him aboard space ships.</p><p>He busied himself in the kitchen, sorting through the meager boxes and bags of food Qui-Gon had kept in stock. There wasn’t much and, if Obi-Wan was being honest with himself, he wasn’t even sure what a nine-year-old was supposed to <em> eat </em>for breakfast?</p><p>“Obi?”</p><p>The voice, as well as the moniker, made Obi-Wan freeze, a half-empty box of cereal in his hands.</p><p>“Oh. Good morning.”</p><p>Anakin stood in the doorway of his room, rubbing at his eyes. They hadn’t had a chance to get Anakin fitted for any clothes, so Obi-Wan had borrowed some things from Master Andii’a next door. The sleep pants Obi-Wan had wound up were still far too big for Anakin and they were rolled at least four times over at Anakin’s ankles and cinched as tight as possible at the waist.</p><p>The boy didn’t wear a shirt and Obi-Wan was struck by how <em> small </em> he was. That couldn’t be normal.</p><p>Suddenly, the cereal in his hands felt inadequate.</p><p>“If you’ll get dressed, we can go down to the refectory and grab breakfast. Then, we’ll see about getting you some clothes. Just wear your old ones, for now.”</p><p>Obi-Wan hoped he sounded like he knew what he was doing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*writes an Obi-Wan and Ahsoka-centric fic, but doesn’t include Ahsoka in the first chapter. HA.*</p><p>Thanks for reading and, as always, comments/kudos are greatly appreciated.</p><p>Follow along with my Star Wars hyperfixation on my <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/giggles-and-freckles"> tumblr </a>!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The remaining tufts from Obi-Wan’s Padawan braid stuck out from behind his ear, so while Anakin completed yet another test with Master Yoda, Obi-Wan got to work. </p><p>His hair had grown longer than he had traditionally liked to keep it, a result of not being on Coruscant for more than a day at a time these past few weeks. The top of his hair stuck straight up, looking as if he were in an atmosphere with a particularly high static electricity composition.</p><p>He tilted his head in the mirror, getting a better angle at the patch left from his Padawan braid. With one quick sweep, the clippers did away with it and Obi-Wan watched as the tiny hairs fell into the sink below him. When his gaze returned to the mirror to observe his work, he found a face he didn’t recognise.</p><p>The Padawan braid hardly changed an appearance–and that wasn’t the point of it anyway. But the shallow cheeks and sunken eyes...those made a difference. Obi-Wan, who had always been touted as enthusiastic and driven by the Masters at the Temple, looked like he hadn’t slept in months.</p><p>Eight days. It had only been <em> eight days </em> since he had watched his Master die. </p><p>He splashed water onto his face and rubbed at the circles under his eyes, as if they were merely dirt stains and something that could be cleaned off. They remained steadfast, reflecting back at Obi-Wan across the mirror darker and deeper than before.</p><p>Anakin didn’t deserve this.</p><p>Obi-Wan had spent his entire <em> life </em> learning the dangers of attachment and training to prevent against it. He’d been told in countless lessons by countless Masters that attachment was the path to the Dark Side and, even worse, personal failure. He’d never feared loss, but pride cometh before the fall. </p><p>Obi-Wan didn’t only feel loss, he felt <em> lost</em>.</p><p>Feeling the familiar heat behind his eyes, he set the clippers down and turned away from the mirror. Sunken eyes were out of his control but tears–</p><p>He would not cry.</p><p>--</p><p>“Once you’re in your classes, this will become more familiar to you.”</p><p>Obi-Wan slowed his pace <em> again</em>, noticing the way Anakin tripped over the edge of his new robe in an effort to match Obi-Wan’s longer strides.</p><p>“All of your classes will be small and you’ll likely be with students your own age. For a little while, though, you’ll be with younger clans, to help you catch up.”</p><p>“Okay,” Anakin nodded, looking a bit overwhelmed by it all.</p><p>Compassion tugged at Obi-Wan’s gut. “It’s okay to be nervous.”</p><p>“I’m not nervous,” Anakin straightened up, suddenly. </p><p>Obi-Wan lifted an eyebrow, but continued walking the halls. A class of upper-level initiates was in session in the room to their right, a star holo-map on display in the centre of their room.  Anakin stared into the room with wide eyes.</p><p>“Your academic lessons will be in this section of the Temple, while your more physical classes will be held in the B wing.”</p><p>“Physical like...fighting?”</p><p>“Among other things,” Obi-Wan nodded. “Lightsaber combat is only one of the skills you will learn as a Jedi.”</p><p>Not for the first time, Obi-Wan was shocked by how strong the Force energy surrounding Anakin was. He felt it spike in excitement at Obi-Wan’s mention of ‘lightsaber.’</p><p>“When do I get one?”</p><p>Obi-Wan didn’t need to ask for clarification. “Not for a long time yet.”</p><p>The energy fizzled a bit and Obi-Wan was tempted to smile.</p><p>“Now, these classes will only compromise a small part of your education. You must be diligent to study and continue to learn even when you are not in class,” said Obi-Wan. “In time, perhaps you will find a subject that particularly interests you and I can show you how to utilise the Archives for research and expansion.”</p><p>“Research?” Anakin’s nose scrunched up.</p><p>“In time,” Obi-Wan repeated.</p><p>They continued wandering through the halls and Obi-Wan considered whether or not he’d made the right choice in keeping Anakin out of the creche. The Council had left it up to Obi-Wan, which was frightening in and of itself. Things were being left <em> up to him </em> now. </p><p>He had grown so accustomed to Qui-Gon making decisions for him. It felt strange to not only be calling things for himself, but also another entire <em> human</em>.</p><p>Anakin’s age put him at a crossroads. He was too young to be taken on as a Padawan, at least according to tradition. But Obi-Wan had made his intention to train Anakin clear so it seemed futile to simply put things on hold for a few years. Then, there was the issue of the other initiates. He didn’t have a clan or crechemates and assigning him to one this late seemed like it would do more harm than good.</p><p>“The other younglings’ quarters are in these halls,” Obi-Wan pointed to the long stretch of rooms that he’d called home once upon a time. “But you’ll be staying with me, of course.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Did he say anything <em> else? </em> His near-silent compliance was baffling to Obi-Wan who had listened to Qui-Gon monologue about Anakin’s brilliance.</p><p>“Anakin,” said Obi-Wan, thinking how severely unqualified he was to ask the next question. “Are you all right?”</p><p>“Fine, Master.”</p><p>“This is overwhelming, I’m sure. No one is expecting you to adjust overnight–”</p><p>“I said I was fine.”</p><p>There was no bite to his words, but Obi-Wan couldn’t help but feel seared by them anyway. Anakin was full of feelings–that much was clear. And he’d obviously never had any sort of instruction on what to do with them. He was close with his mother; Obi-Wan remembered Qui-Gon mentioning that. Perhaps she had–</p><p>“<em>Watch out!!!!</em>”</p><p>“<em>What in the–</em>”</p><p>But Obi-Wan didn’t get to finish his question because, as it turned out, a five-year-old Togruta <em> could </em> in fact run into a fully-grown man with enough force to take him down to the ground.</p><p>Big blue eyes came into focus a couple inches above Obi-Wan’s face. They widened as he blinked up at her, trying to understand what had just <em> happened </em> . “Hello?” he managed through the crushing weight of what he realised was an entire <em> person </em> splayed across his chest.</p><p>She pushed off, spastically, ignoring his <em> oof </em> of discomfort and paying no mind to stepping right on his stomach as she scrambled off of him.</p><p>“<em>I’msosorry</em>,” she babbled immediately in one breath. “I was trying to tag Kaz and Toi’i because they infected me with the giggle touch and you can’t just <em> keep the giggle touch</em>, obviously, so I was trying to get rid of it, but then they–” She stopped abruptly, her neck swivelling and stubby lekku swinging wildly. “Where did they–”</p><p>Two younglings–Kaz and Toi’i <em> apparently</em>–disappeared at the end of the hall.</p><p>“Those <em> nerfherders</em>,” she bared her teeth in frustration, revealing an incomplete set. Her front two teeth were completely gone.</p><p>Anakin stifled a giggle from above him and Obi-Wan suddenly realised he was still on the <em> ground</em>. With as much dignity as one can muster after being plowed down by a toddler, he pushed himself off the floor of the Temple, dusting the front of his robes and frowning down at her. </p><p>“I don’t appreciate your use of that language in front of my Padawan. And I don’t think your crechemasters would appreciate that sort of language at <em> all</em>.”</p><p>“Are you Obi-Wan Kenobi?” she asked bluntly, tilting her head up at him.</p><p>His frown deepened. “Yes?”</p><p>Her face broke out into a grin. “Hello, Obi-Wan Kenobi.” Somehow, the smile grew. “Obi-Wan Kenobi. <em> Obi-Wan Kenoooobi</em>. Obi–”</p><p>“Yes. That <em> is </em> the pronunciation,” he cut her off, clearing his throat. “I’m <em> Master </em> Kenobi,” he lifted an accusing eyebrow–which she promptly ignored, “and this is my Padawan, Ana–”</p><p>“Oh, I know who you are.” She turned her attention to Anakin, who immediately crept closer to Obi-Wan. If he wasn’t a bit frightened of the girl himself, he’d almost chuckle at his student’s sudden trepidation. The Togruta studied the boy with interest and excitement. After watching her for a moment, Obi-Wan realised she was physically <em> bouncing </em> as she stood in place.</p><p>“You’re Anakin Skywalker.”</p><p>Obi-Wan waited to see if Anakin would speak for himself, but the boy only stepped behind Obi-Wan’s robes. </p><p>“Yes, he is. How do you–”</p><p>“Everyone’s talking about him,” she said brightly. “From Tatooine, right? I wanna go there someday, but Master Sinube says that the Outer Rim is–”</p><p>“Shouldn’t you be in class?” interrupted Obi-Wan, sensing the energy shift around his Padawan in a strange way at the mention of his home planet. Interesting–something he’d have to meditate on later.</p><p>“We got out early!”</p><p>Got out <em> early? </em>Obi-Wan couldn’t imagine what Master would–</p><p>“Master Vos said the weather was too nice to be stuck inside <em> reading</em>.”</p><p>Ah. Well, <em> that </em> explained it.</p><p>“I see,” said Obi-Wan, noticing the way Anakin covertly peered out from behind his leg.</p><p>“We’re gonna go play in the courtyard,” she continued. Then, her bright blue eyes lit up. “Do you wanna come play?”</p><p>Obi-Wan felt his mouth twitch at that. “We’re preoccupied, but thank you, youngling.” He looked down at the small boy at his side. “Anakin?”</p><p>Anakin bowed his head awkwardly and stammered, “Y–yes. Thank...you.”</p><p>“Okay,” she shrugged before skipping down the hall and disappearing behind a column.</p><p>Both men watched the empty hall in silence for a moment before Obi-Wan turned to his student and sighed. “Well, she certainly has energy.”</p><p>“She’s <em> weird</em>,” said Anakin with a wrinkle of his nose.</p><p>Obi-Wan couldn’t help but agree.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I try to update this at some point every Sunday, but GEEZ, this one really gave me a tough time. Yoda, man...he provides me with some...challenges. HA. Well, anyway, happy reading!! xoxo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“He is still small for his age, but I believe the boy is healthier now than when he arrived. His diet on Tatooine was not adequate,” Obi-Wan said, walking alongside Master Yoda. He was not accustomed to speaking down as he walked the halls of the Temple.</p><p>“Good progress, this is.”</p><p>“I believe so. He has his next physical with Master Che tomorrow, but we don’t expect any bad news.”</p><p>“Physical health, you speak of. But what of mind, hmm?”</p><p>“Mind?”</p><p>“Just as important for his training, this is.”</p><p>“I believe the boy is ready, Master.”</p><p>Other Jedi nodded as they passed Yoda and Obi-Wan in the halls. It was strange, seeing Padawans suddenly greet him as an elder worthy of respect.</p><p>“Know his name, do you?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“The <em> boy</em>,” Yoda said in a voice that Obi-Wan could almost be convinced was– <em> mocking</em>.</p><p>“Of–of course, Master,” he sputtered. “Anakin Skywalker.”</p><p>“Call him by this, you should, then, hmm?”</p><p>“Oh,” Obi-Wan blinked, feeling properly chastised. “Yes, Master. Of course. I apologise.”</p><p>Yoda continued to crutch down the hall and Obi-Wan found himself embarrassed by how quickly he had to walk to keep up with the smaller Jedi. </p><p>“He is ready,” Obi-Wan repeated. “Anakin is ready to begin training.”</p><p>“Hmm. Training.” Yoda nodded thoughtfully. “Only in classrooms, this can happen?”</p><p>“Well, no, but–”</p><p>“His teacher, <em> you </em>are, yes?”</p><p>“Yes, but I believe the boy would–”</p><p>“Anakin.”</p><p>Obi-Wan coughed. “I believe <em> Anakin </em> would benefit from socialisation with other Jedi his age. He is...reserved and awkward. Unwilling to connect with people around him.”</p><p>“Already connect with <em> you</em>, he has?”</p><p>Obi-Wan considered this for a moment. He answer was a resounding <em> no </em>, of course, but he couldn’t exactly say that to Yoda. “It has been a busy week, Master.”</p><p>“Busy,” the smaller Jedi repeated in a way that Obi-Wan assumed wasn’t a commendation.</p><p>“I will do better, Master Yoda.” Obi-Wan assured him. “I know that I have been slow to learn what being a Knight requires, but I promise to work diligently and fulfill my duties.”</p><p>“What consider you to be your duties, hmm?”</p><p>Obi-Wan paused. “Well, to serve the Order and the Republic. To rely on the Force and live a life of honour.”</p><p>“Rely?” Yoda released a short cackle. “No!”</p><p>“I’m sorry?” Obi-Wan sputtered, quickly glancing around the halls to see if anyone else had just witnessed his loud admonishment by the Grand Master of the Order.</p><p>“Much to learn, you have, young Kenobi. <em> Much </em> to learn.”</p><p>That didn’t do a great deal to curb Obi-Wan’s insecurities on his new status in the Order, but he didn’t get the impression that Yoda was interested in taking questions at the moment. He continued to follow the green Jedi, biting his tongue and withholding the slew of exclamations he would like to share.</p><p>“Obi-Wan,” Yoda began after a moment. “In your care, the boy is. Will of the Force, it is. If you believe, ready to begin formal training is he, then begin he will. His Master, you are. Not me.”</p><p>It wasn’t what Obi-Wan had expected.</p><p>“Thank you, Master Yoda,” Obi-wan said, bowing his head respectfully. “I am confident that it is in Anakin’s best interests.”</p><p>“Considered your own interests, have you?”</p><p>“Anakin’s interests are my interests. I want him to succeed and become a skilled Jedi.”</p><p>“Skilled,” Yoda echoed quietly. He turned his head to look up at Obi-Wan for what seemed like the first time in their conversation and gave a sad smile. “Important to you, this is?”</p><p>Obi-Wan’s mouth twitched into a confused frown. “Of course, Master. Skill is a quantifiable way to monitor learning.” He paused, suddenly unsure of himself and feeling every bit the Padawan he had somehow led others to believe he no longer was. “Isn’t it?”</p><p>“Many lessons, I sense, young Skywalker will bring you,” Yoda said.</p><p>Obi-Wan wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing.</p><p>---</p><p>“Tomorrow?”</p><p>“Tomorrow.”</p><p>“Will you be there, too?”</p><p>Obi-Wan shifted on the couch, turning away from his Padawan. “Well, no. Remember I told you your lessons will be with other students. Most of them a bit younger than you at first.”</p><p>Anakin considered this, his nose wrinkling in deep thought.</p><p>“You’ll enjoy your lessons. Master Kiandi will be helping you with your schedule tomorrow and then you’ll be able to take care of it on your own.”</p><p>“Who’s Master Kiandi?”</p><p>“One of your teachers.”</p><p>Anakin frowned. “I thought you were my teacher.”</p><p>“Well, yes...I am. But you’ll be taught by many Jedi before you become a Knight. And for...the rest of your life.”</p><p>“That’s confusing.”</p><p>“Not really,” Obi-Wan said, irritation prickling at the back of his head.</p><p>“What will you be doing?”</p><p>“<em>I don’t know</em>, Anakin.” Something in Obi-Wan snapped and he felt himself begin to unravel. “It’s not for you to worry about. You’ll live your life and I’ll live mine.”</p><p>He stood from the couch and moved into the kitchen. A cup of tea would help.</p><p>“I thought we were living <em> together</em>…”</p><p>“That doesn’t mean you have to follow me to <em> every single place </em> I go.” Obi-Wan set the kettle a little too forcefully on the stove. “I have things to take care of that don’t involve you.”</p><p>“But Qui-Gon said–”</p><p>The teacup cabinet slammed shut, echoing ferociously through the common room. “<em>Master Jinn </em> is <em> dead</em>.”</p><p>“I–”</p><p>Obi-Wan whipped around, glaring fiercely at Anakin over the countertop. “Don’t talk about him! Don’t act like you knew him or like you were anything more than a fascination to him because of some old prophecy. He made a lot of promises, okay? But he’s <em> dead </em> and we’re alone now.”</p><p>The teacup fell from his hand and shattered to the floor, immediately splintering into pieces.</p><p>“<em>Fuck</em>.” Obi-Wan breathed, his entire body shaking.</p><p>He dropped to the floor, carefully sweeping the larger pieces into a pile when a pair of small hands joined his own in the fray. Obi-Wan’s head snapped up.</p><p>“<em>Get away.</em>” he demanded. “You’ll hurt yourself!”</p><p>“But I want to help–”</p><p>“Anakin! Stop–” His words were cut off by a sharp intake of breath. He looked down to see a deep slice stretching from one end of his palm to the other, blood already gathering at the surface.</p><p>“Obi?” Anakin’s eyes widened. “You’re blee–”</p><p>“Get away from me!” Obi-Wan bellowed, feeling that phantom heat behind his eyes. “Now! Get out!”</p><p>The Padawan’s lip began to tremble as he looked into Obi-Wan’s eyes in bewilderment. “Where do I–”</p><p>“<em>I</em><em> don’t care! </em> Not here! Get out!” </p><p>Anakin practically tripped over himself as he stumbled to his feet and ran from their quarters. He fumbled at the keypad on the door for several moments before Obi-Wan finally heard it slide open and shut behind him.</p><p>The silence that greeted Obi-Wan in his Padawan’s absence was no more welcoming.</p><p>He dropped fully to the ground, leaning his head against the cabinets and cradling his injured hand in his lap.</p><p>Anger. That’s what he’d felt. </p><p>Obi-Wan could only pinpoint one other time in his 25 years of life that he had felt that particular emotion. The situations were hardly the same, but the anger in his fists and fire in his heart were perfectly synonymous with what he felt that night on Naboo, watching Maul stalk on the other side of the laser field.</p><p>His head hung, hitting his chest, in self-loathing and shame. A Sith Lord and a <em> child</em>. How could he allow his feelings to equate those two things?</p><p>---</p><p>“Ah, good morning, Master Kenobi.”</p><p>“Mor’in?” Obi-Wan mumbled, blinking back the heavy weight of his eyelids.</p><p>“Do you know where you are?”</p><p>Vokara Che.</p><p>“Sick?” he guessed.</p><p>She chuckled. “No, not sick. Not this time.”</p><p>He finally won the battle against his own eyes and blinked in the room around him.</p><p>His room.</p><p>“Your Padawan was smart to come get me.” Master Che measured out a white wrap bandage and cut it.</p><p>“Padawan?” Obi-Wan murmured.</p><p>“He’s not here. Some of the others in the Halls enlisted him to help with a medical droid repair,” she said, reaching for his own hand. There was already a long bandage set in place by an adhesive. “Seems to have a knack for mechanics.”</p><p>Huh. Obi-Wan didn’t know that.</p><p>“He’s okay?”</p><p>“Perfectly. I was happy for the chance to finally meet him. We hear so many things over in the Halls, but…” She peered curiously at Obi-Wan. “It’s difficult to sort fact from fiction.”</p><p>He turned his hand over, investigating her work. Avoiding her eyes.</p><p>“Pretty nasty cut. I had to stitch it up,” she said. “Your student is brave. Didn’t even squirm talking about the blood.”</p><p>Obi-Wan swallowed. “He...told you what happened?”</p><p>“Yes,” she smiled sympathetically. “Don’t be too hard on him. He said it was an accident.”</p><p>“An accident,” Obi-Wan echoed, frowning.</p><p>“Went into a full story,” she said with a light chuckle. “They don’t drink tea on Tatooine, so he didn’t know it would be hot. Apparently it surprised him so much, it slipped right to the floor. He felt terrible about breaking your favourite cup and even worse about you slicing your hand open in the process.”</p><p>Obi-Wan couldn’t take his eyes off of the bandages, flipping his hand back and forth. There was no pain, which was strange for an injury that had apparently knocked him unconscious.</p><p>“I passed out?” he asked bluntly.</p><p>“Yes,” she said, giving him a strange look. “When I got here, you didn’t answer the door. I let myself in and you were in quite a state.” She motioned toward his robes. “You should change those.”</p><p>Covered in blood. Too much blood for so little pain.</p><p>“Thank you,” he said quietly.</p><p>“Take care of yourself, Master Kenobi.”</p><p>---</p><p>“Master Obi-Wan?” a timid voice called from the doorway some time later.</p><p>Obi-Wan looked up and managed a smile. “Anakin.”</p><p>The Padawan’s own lips twitched uncertainly as he looked at his Master.</p><p>“You can come in,” Obi-Wan said. Then, noticing the woman with a gentle hand on Anakin’s shoulder, “Thank you, Master Blaggo. We’ll be okay now.”</p><p>“Thank you, Master,” Anakin murmured, looking back at the Healer.</p><p>She smiled and squeezed Anakin’s shoulder, before turning down the hall.</p><p>He stayed in the doorway, looking like he was trying to decide whether to fully enter his quarters or follow the Healer.</p><p>“Come sit,” Obi-Wan said. “Please,” he added.</p><p>Anakin dutifully shuffled in and sat on the edge of the couch. His gaze immediately locked onto his Master’s bandaged hand.</p><p>Obi-Wan pulled his sleeve down.</p><p>“Anakin,” he said quietly, “may I ask you a question?”</p><p>A small nod.</p><p>“How did you know that was my favourite teacup?”</p><p>Anakin squirmed uncomfortably. “I...I saw you picking it out. You took a long time trying to find it.”</p><p>Obi-Wan’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. His perception was impressive–</p><p>“And you were sad. I could tell.”</p><p>Obi-Wan’s breath caught in his throat. “You could sense my...sadness?”</p><p>Another nod.</p><p>“My Master gave me that cup when I first began my apprenticeship.”</p><p>Anakin looked at his lap guiltily. “I’m sorry it broke.”</p><p>“It’s not your fault.”</p><p>“I’m still sorry,” Anakin said. He looked down at his hands, fidgeting with his sleeves. “And I’m sorry I made you mad.”</p><p>“Anakin, you didn’t make me–” Obi-Wan stopped. </p><p><em> Mad. </em> </p><p>He <em> had </em> been mad, as unfair and out of line as that had been. </p><p>“I had no right to take my frustration out on you.”</p><p>“I’ll give you your space from here on out, I promise,” Anakin nodded vigorously. “I made a friend today, so I...I have someone else to hang out with.”</p><p>Obi-Wan’s heart twisted in his chest. “Who’s your new friend?” he managed.</p><p>“2-1B. But I call him Blue.”</p><p>A medical droid. For <em> kriff’s sake</em>–</p><p>“Anakin,” Obi-Wan choked out. “I was <em> wrong </em> to say those things. It was a mistake and I’m...I’m afraid I’ve been making a lot of those with you.”</p><p>Anakin tilted his head curiously.</p><p>“I’ve never had a Padawan before, see, and I’m not used to...caring for someone else.”</p><p>“You don’t have to care for me, Master Obi-Wan,” Anakin insisted, plainly. “Mom taught me how to care for myself.”</p><p>Obi-Wan took a shaky breath. “I’m sure she did. But...it is my job to oversee your growth and I’ve neglected that. I promise to more carefully consider your needs before my own.”</p><p>Anakin frowned in outward discomfort. “I don’t want you to do that.”</p><p>The older Jedi hesitated, looking at his Padawan. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“I don’t…” Anakin shifted again. “I want you to consider <em> your </em> needs first.”</p><p>“That’s not the Jedi way.”</p><p>“Well then who takes care of <em> you? </em>”</p><p>Obi-Wan stiffened. “I’m a Jedi Knight.”</p><p>
  <em> My Master takes care of me. He’s dead. </em>
</p><p>Anakin’s frown deepened into a deep-set look of determination as his mind reeled. Obi-Wan watched his eyes flicker around in concentration and let himself again consider how strong this boy was in the Force.</p><p>Obi-Wan hadn’t ascertained <em> how </em> to read Anakin’s Force signature, but it was evident and blinding. So unlike any other Jedi.</p><p>Finally, Anakin turned back to Obi-Wan. With a simple shrug and a nod, he said, “I think I can do it.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Another chapter without Ahsoka, which I do adamantly apologise for. If I'm doing my math correctly, she should be in every chapter from here on out! I just started writing and this chapter got a biiiit longer than I wanted...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello again! hope everyone's 2021 has kicked off well and may your year be filled with all the best things. &lt;3</p><p>I made the executive decision to age Ahsoka up a couple years from where she would be in canon, bc I just cannot convincingly sustain four-year-old dialogue hahah. but I hope that isn't too big a turn-off for you all!</p><p>**this chapter has a slightly graphic depiction of what you may or may not choose to discern as a panic attack. I know this can be triggering for some, so please exercise caution. this is something very personal to me, so I absolutely understand any choice to not continue. I did my best to be gracious in my depiction.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Three times. He’d been comm’ed down to Anakin’s class <em> three times </em> and it wasn’t even lunch time.</p><p>The first time Master Sinube had called, Obi-Wan had hurried down, fearing the worst. Anakin could have gotten injured or lost or a number of situations a boy barely adjusted to the Temple could have found himself in. In the end, he’d only wanted to ask Obi-Wan what they were having for dinner.</p><p>Master Sinube had looked a bit sheepish when he shrugged his shoulders from behind Anakin and mouthed, “He said it was important!”</p><p>The second comm had been a request to bring Anakin’s robe, which was <em> ridiculous </em> since Anakin hadn’t stopped talking about how much he hated the article of clothing since he got fitted.</p><p>And now, here he was–marching down the halls <em> again </em> on Master Sinube’s request. The old master had been teaching since before Obi-Wan was a crecheling so he wasn’t sure how Anakin had managed to pull <em> three </em> fast ones on him this morning.</p><p>He arrived at the door to Anakin’s late morning class and caught Sinube’s eye from the doorway, offering a tight smile and brief nod. The Master’s eyes widened with some sort of emotion Obi-Wan couldn’t discern. The young knight took a deep breath, barring himself from whatever ridiculous request Anakin had for him this time.</p><p>“Continue reading,” Master Sinube addressed the younglings, scurrying toward the back of the room. “I’ll only be a moment.”</p><p>That’s when Obi-Wan realised what Sinube was moving toward, or rather <em> who</em>. A huddled mass of a boy leaned against the back wall, his shoulders shaking in sobs.</p><p>“Anakin,” Obi-Wan whispered to himself, his stomach clenching.</p><p>Master Sinube stirred the boy and managed to get him to his feet, ushering him toward the door. Obi-Wan stepped further out into the hall to put some space between himself and the classroom of younglings. </p><p>“What’s wrong?” he asked immediately, reaching a hand toward Anakin’s shoulder.</p><p>The boy shook him off, wiping furiously at his eyes. “N–nothing, Master.”</p><p>Obi-Wan looked to Sinube with an expectant frown.</p><p>The elder Jedi sighed from behind Anakin. “Young Skywalker had a disagreement with some of his classmates.”</p><p>Obi-Wan’s frown deepened. “A disagreement?”</p><p>“I’m afraid things got...physical.”</p><p>“<em>P</em><em>hysical? </em> <em>Force</em>, Anakin, it’s your first day…” Obi-Wan scrubbed a hand across his face.</p><p>Sinube regarded him harshly and Obi-Wan found the decency to bow his head in apology. Perhaps it wasn’t appropriate to swear at one’s Padawan. Obi-Wan couldn’t find any true remorse, though, considering no one had told him <em> what </em> he was supposed to be doing <em> with a Padawan. </em></p><p>“Anakin did not act alone. I have tried speaking with him and the other students, but I thought it would be best if...you spoke with him.” Sinube tried to communicate something with his eyes that completely got lost on Obi-Wan.</p><p>“Speak with him? About what?”</p><p>Sinube sighed. “Just...take a few minutes. He can come back to class whenever he’s ready.”</p><p>And just like that, the older Jedi was shutting the door to the classroom behind him, leaving Obi-Wan and Anakin utterly alone.</p><p>“Well?” Obi-Wan sighed impatiently after a moment of mutual silence. Anakin hadn’t looked up from the floor. “Why did you get in a fight?”</p><p>The boy mumbled something.</p><p>“Speak <em> up</em>, Padawan. I can’t hear you.” Obi-Wan heard the sharpness in his own voice and wondered when that had become such a familiar tone to hear in his own accent.</p><p>“I didn’t mean to,” Anakin muttered, swiping at his eyes again.</p><p>“Anakin,” Obi-Wan huffed. “Master Sinube has comm’ed me <em> three times </em> today. I would very much like to know what it is I am–”</p><p>His words were cut off as small arms encircled his waist and a face collided with his stomach. Obi-Wan’s hands hovered at his side for a moment. He glanced both ways down the hall, hoping no one was around to bear witness to his discomfort. </p><p>When Anakin’s body began to shake against his, the awkwardness fled. A compassion he didn’t know he possessed for the boy in front of him overtook him and he found himself dropping to his knees and pulling Anakin into his shoulders, tightening his grip around the boy.</p><p>They stayed like that for several minutes. Anakin sobbing into Obi-Wan’s robe. Obi-Wan rubbing Anakin’s back.</p><p>Finally, Anakin’s sobs subsided and Obi-Wan managed to find his voice. “Anakin,” he said softly, not moving his chin from where it rested on his Padawan’s head. “What happened?”</p><p>A slight shake of a head under his chin.</p><p>Obi-Wan pulled Anakin back a bit by his shoulders, trying to catch his eyes. “Anakin,” he repeated.</p><p>“They said my mom–” A rogue tear streamed down his face. “They said she wasn’t a Jedi.”</p><p>Obi-Wan frowned, trying to understand. Shmi Skywalker <em> wasn’t </em> a Jedi.</p><p>He waited, patiently.</p><p>“And–and they said it’s stupid for me to miss her because...she’s not...special.”</p><p>“Not special?” Obi-Wan’s heart twisted in his chest. “Anakin, your mother is incredibly special.”</p><p>“They said–”</p><p>“The other initiates never really knew their mother,” Obi-Wan explained. “They have been at the Temple since they were very young. I...I don’t remember my <em> own </em> mother.”</p><p>Anakin’s eyes glistened. “But my mom…”</p><p>“Is someone I would have liked to have met while we were on Tatooine. My m–Qui-Gon spoke very...highly of her.” He wondered if it would ever get easier to talk about him. “But I don’t need to have known her to know how special she is. She...Anakin, she gave birth to <em> you </em>.”</p><p>He wasn’t entirely sure where that had come from, but somehow, he found that he–<em> meant it. </em></p><p>Slowly, Anakin’s lips stopped quivering, but his frown remained resolute. “So why–why would they...the other in...ini–”</p><p>“Initiates.”</p><p>Anakin nodded. “Why would they say that?”</p><p>Obi-Wan considered this for a moment. “I don’t know, young one. I...I really don’t know.”</p><p>It was the truth. No matter how much the Order engrained compassion, empathy, and kindness into its members...the capacity for cruelty was still there. Force knew Obi-Wan had experienced his fair share of it through the years. </p><p>He’d <em> contributed </em> to it in shamefully recent days. </p><p>“Things that are unfamiliar to us can be...frightening.”</p><p>“But you said a Jedi isn’t afraid of anything.”</p><p>“I said a Jedi should work to let go of his fears,” Obi-Wan said gently. “Unfortunately, there’s a difference. I don’t know a Jedi who isn’t afraid of <em> something.</em>”</p><p>“I’m not afraid of anything.”</p><p>Obi-Wan lifted an eyebrow. “Nothing?”</p><p>“Well,” Anakin’s lip pouted in concentration, “maybe a few things. A couple.”</p><p>The older Jedi managed to withhold his smile. </p><p>“I’m sorry you were treated unkindly, Padawan.”</p><p>“I’m sorry I punched Giada in the face.”</p><p>“You–” Anakin sputtered. “Anakin, <em> what? </em></p><p>The Padawan blanched. “I thought Master Sinube told you.”</p><p>“<em>No, he didn’t. </em> You…” Obi-Wan struggled to find words, so he settled again for, “<em>What?</em>”</p><p>“I’m sorry!”</p><p>Obi-Wan ran a hand through his hair. He’d...<em> punched </em> another initiate? Sure, Anakin was new to all of this, but surely punching someone in the face wasn’t an acceptable way to handle a mild dispute on Tatooine. Although...as he thought of the uncivilised planet in Hutt space... <em> well</em>.</p><p>Even so, what Padawan learner resulted to physical aggression with another?</p><p><em> You did</em>, Obi-Wan was viscerally reminded. It was an unwanted hit to the gut.</p><p>“Okay,” he finally said through a long breath. “<em>Okay.</em>”</p><p>“Okay?” Anakin asked timidly.</p><p>“We’ll...talk about this later. But, don’t–don’t let this worry you,” he said, pulling a small smile. “Your lessons are important and I don’t want this distraction to be–significant.” He tugged at the sleeves of his robes, feeling uncomfortable. He’d negotiated deals with diplomatic leaders across the galaxy and supervised the signing of countless treaties. He was a keeper of the peace. But this new role of creating solutions for <em> another human</em>. This responsibility–it was new. Heavy. “I would like for you to push past any remaining frustration and return to class.”</p><p>He waited for the retort, the argument, the rebuttal.</p><p>“Yes, Master.”</p><p>Obi-Wan froze. That had been...<em> easy</em>. “Do you–do you need another moment before you go back?”</p><p>“I...I think I’m okay.”</p><p>“You’re sure?”</p><p>Anakin nodded.</p><p>This time the smile was more genuine. “Well, all right then. Off you go–oh. <em> Anakin </em>.” The boy stopped in the doorway and turned back over his shoulder. Obi-Wan made a silent, but exaggerated motion of wiping at his eyes. Anakin blinked in confusion and then his eyes widened in understanding. Fists scrubbed under his eyes, dispersing the remaining tears. One side of his mouth twitched up in gratitude. Obi-Wan nodded. “I’ll see you for lunch.”</p><p>...</p><p>Obi-Wan took a deep breath as he entered the Temple gardens, welcoming the fresh air and fresh start it provided. What a morning it had already been.</p><p>Meditation. That’s what he needed.</p><p>That’s what he’d been <em> lacking </em> for...almost two weeks now. His eyes skittered about the garden, wondering if his disconnection from the Force was obvious to everyone around him. Instead, his gaze was pulled toward the pairs settled around the garden.</p><p>Eating an early lunch at one of the small tables. Laughing over a shared joke. Practicing katas.</p><p>Masters and Padawans.</p><p>Everywhere.</p><p>Obi-Wan took another breath, walking toward the far end of the garden. Dropped into a sitting position and folded his legs in front of him.</p><p>He closed his eyes, trying to clear his mind. His consciousness bumped against itself, clumsily hitting the shields he had carefully constructed since Naboo. He shut his eyes tighter in determination. The shields were designed to keep <em> others </em> out, not the Force.</p><p>A warmth prickled at the edge of his awareness. A Force presence.</p><p>He opened one eye. “Hello?”</p><p>SItting cross-legged on the ground in front of him was a youngling. If he wasn’t mistaken–the one who had assaulted him in the Halls with Anakin.</p><p>She ignored him entirely.</p><p>“Youngling.”</p><p>Her eyes stayed closed.</p><p>“<em>Youngling</em>.”</p><p>She sighed, opening her eyes and letting her posture slump. “<em>Whaaat?</em>”</p><p>Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“Master Kenobi,” she added in a small voice.</p><p>She was bold, this youngling.</p><p>“What are you doing?”</p><p>“Meditating,” she said, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. She didn’t outrightly roll her eyes, but she may as well have.</p><p>Obi-Wan scoffed. “You’re <em> not–</em>”</p><p>“Yes, I am!” she cried. “I can meditate! I know how!”</p><p>He frowned at her quick defense. “I’m sure you do, young one, but–”</p><p>“Ahsoka.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Ahsoka. That’s my name. Not <em> young one </em>.” Her nose shrivelled in distaste.</p><p>“Why are you meditating?” he continued, ignoring her interruption.</p><p>“Because you looked lonely,” she shrugged casually.</p><p>Obi-Wan’s throat constricted. <em> Lonely</em>. A Jedi didn’t get <em> lonely</em>. Loneliness was a result of desiring companionship. A vacancy. But to be lonely–</p><p>Well, one would have to be accustomed to feeling something else.</p><p>“I’m not lonely.”</p><p>“Didn’t say you were. Just said you <em> looked </em> it.”</p><p>“Well, I’m not, so you can–”</p><p>“Where’s your Padawan?”</p><p>Interrupting seemed to be a habit of hers. “In class.” Then, he frowned. “How is it that both times I’ve seen you, you <em> haven’t </em> been in class yourself?”</p><p>“I’m in year five. We’re on our lunch break.”</p><p>“So why aren’t you...eating?”</p><p>She scrunched up her face again. “Because it’s nuna leg day.”</p><p>“Nuna leg is a perfectly respectable meal.”</p><p>“Let me guess–you like colo claw fish, <em> too </em>.”</p><p>
  <em> Well– </em>
</p><p>“That’s beside the point.”</p><p>She giggled victoriously. “You’re funny, Obi-Wan Kenooooobi.”</p><p>“There are Jedi with far stranger names than mine, young one.”</p><p>“But not funner.”</p><p>“More fun,” he corrected.</p><p>“That either.”</p><p>“Well,” Obi-Wan took a breath, “I’m going to–”</p><p>“No!” she shouted, grabbing his wrist as he moved to stand. He looked at her tiny hand encircling his with a raised eyebrow. She dropped it sheepishly. “Please don’t leave.”</p><p>“I need to meditate, Ahsoka. That’s obviously not going to happen here.”</p><p>Not that it would have made a difference either way.</p><p>“I want to do it with you!”</p><p>“No,” Obi-Wan shook his head firmly.</p><p>“Pleeeease? I’ll be quiet, I promise!”</p><p>Obi-Wan sighed at her earnestness. It was somehow...endearing. “Little one–”</p><p>“Look!” She sat up as straight as she could and closed her eyes, evening out her breathing.</p><p>Obi-Wan considered his options. He wasn’t confident in his abilities to meditate <em> alone</em>, much less with a chatty toddler. But, watching the Togruta in front of him adopt her most practiced meditation posture, he couldn’t find the heart to deny her.</p><p>“All right,” he said finally, feeling a warmth in his own chest at her toothy grin. “But only for a few minutes.”</p><p>Her head bobbed up and down with enthusiasm.</p><p>Like before, Obi-Wan settled back into a meditative state, releasing his thoughts and trying to fill their vacancy with the Force. But...like before, it eluded him. Wisps of the Force just out of his reach, unable to enter his guarded consciousness.</p><p>“Why are you so grey?” Ahsoka blurted out.</p><p>“<em>What?</em>” he asked, opening his eyes. His hands immediately jumped to his hair.</p><p>She kept her own eyes shut, squinting in concentration. “Your Force presence is grey. I’m trying to sense you, but–”</p><p>“<em>Don’t</em>.” he said harshly. Immediately regretted it.</p><p>Her eyes fell open then. Instead of looking hurt or chastised, though, she only looked curious. “Why?” she asked simply.</p><p>He took a steadying breath. “I don’t want you in my head.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“<em>Because</em>.”</p><p>“But <em> why?</em>”</p><p>“Ahsoka,” he snapped before releasing a breath. She was a youngling. A <em> toddler</em>. He couldn’t lose his temper on her. “I’m just having a difficult time focusing today. That’s all.”</p><p>“No,” she shook her head bluntly. “Your shields are up.”</p><p>“No, they’re <em> not</em>.”</p><p>“Master Kenobi,” she said, fixing him with a stare that very much made him feel like the youngling in this exchange, “I’m <em> six</em>. I know a shield when I sense one.”</p><p>Honestly, he wasn’t sure how many six-year-olds knew a shield when they sensed one, but he wasn’t necessarily surprised that this particular youngling had that in her wheelhouse. She wasn’t like any six-year-old <em> he </em> had met, that was for damn sure.</p><p>She tilted her head. “Is it because your Master died?”</p><p>Obi-Wan’s stomach lurched violently. He physically felt the colour drain from his cheeks as his head became heavy, heavy, <em> heavy</em>. His hands shifted under his thighs as he felt them begin to shake.</p><p>“Are you okay?” she frowned in concern, leaning toward him.</p><p>He tried to nod his head, but the movement only pushed the bile further up his throat. His shoulders shuttered as his eyes wrenched shut.</p><p>Tiny hands planted themselves on his knees. He knew he should push her away. Tell her to <em> leave</em>. This was no state for a youngling to observe a knight in. This was no state for a knight to <em> be </em>in at all. But as he moved to shift his hands, his entire body began to tremble.</p><p>Everything about him was shaking, shuttering, <em> moving</em>, yet he was frozen. Locked in place and completely powerless against the physical onslaught of hurt.</p><p>His consciousness continued to bounce around, back and forth, back and forth, trying to <em> escape </em> the prison he himself had constructed, to no avail. He couldn’t think straight, couldn’t think beyond the blinding <em> nothing </em> that overtook his mind. He was drowning. Drowning in his own pain and he wasn’t strong enough to pull himself out.</p><p>Just as he reached resignation and defeat, he felt–</p><p>Warmth.</p><p>Tiny pin pricks of light hacking into his consciousness and dispersing the <em> nothing </em>. It wasn’t much. Just semblances of something, really, but even so–their intention was clear.</p><p>Peace.</p><p>He grasped desperately at one of the pin pricks, pushing on it to expand and encompass the rest of his presence in the Force. It obeyed, ebbing and flowing until the nothing was filled with something; light. </p><p>Obi-Wan opened his eyes.</p><p>“Ahsoka?” he whispered.</p><p>She kept her eyes screwed shut, her hands resting on his knees and her mouth moving in tiny, silent motions.</p><p>Obi-Wan’s mind continued to clear and his body followed suit. His shoulders fell from their rigid position and his hands went still. The bitter taste in his throat dissipated and his stomach settled.</p><p>He was–<em> okay</em>.</p><p>“Ahsoka,” he repeated, still not finding his full voice. Her eyes fluttered open slowly. “Did you...was that you?”</p><p>She peered up at him curiously as though she didn’t understand the question.</p><p>“The Force. Did you just...how did you do that?”</p><p>“I sent you happiness,” she said, like this was something you could just send in the post for Life Day or another special occasion.</p><p>Obi-Wan didn’t have a reply for that. This little Togruta–<em> Ahsoka </em> –had single-handedly just...well, he didn’t even <em> know </em> what she’d done. Her presence in the Force was small and it was evident that the pin pricks of peace had been the limits of her abilities, but even so–it had been enough. Exactly what he needed.</p><p>“How did you learn to do that?” he asked incredulously.</p><p>This time, she <em> did </em> roll her eyes. “I already told you, Master Kenobi. I’m <em> six</em>.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this took...forever. but hey I officially have the rest of this story completed so huzzah for that!!! happy february, my friends! thanks for being here!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“She’s very...<em>spirited</em>.”</p><p>Plo Koon laughed. A deep rumble. “That is a good word for it.”</p><p>“Is she...does she give her creche masters a difficult time?”</p><p>“That depends on what you mean by a difficult time.”</p><p>Obi-Wan gave Plo an unimpressed look. “Trouble. Does she get into <em> trouble</em>.”</p><p>“No more than most younglings, I assume.” But Obi-Wan could hear the smirk beneath the Kel Dor’s antiox mask.</p><p>“For some reason, I doubt that,” Obi-Wan chuckled. He adjusted his legs on the small mat on Plo’s floor. He hadn’t been in this room without Qui-Gon before. Yet another adjustment of his new life was seeing the other Knights and Masters as his own peers instead of merely his Master’s.</p><p>The furniture in this particular room was as sparse as he remembered. Plo rarely entertained guests in his quarters, as the human-friendly living space was small. Most of his quarters were reserved for a sectioned off tank that would allow him to rest and breathe without the confines of his mask.</p><p>Obi-Wan had felt bad for bothering him while he was in his personal quarters at all, but a few quick inquiries around the Temply about the little Togruta had directed him here.</p><p>“Does she have any special gifts or skills?”</p><p>“Determination,” Plo Koon replied immediately. And then, “Empathy.”</p><p>That wasn’t what Obi-Wan had meant in his question, but–</p><p>“Empathy,” Obi-Wan echoed with a small frown.</p><p>“The ability to sense and understand the pain of–”</p><p>“Yes, Master, I know what empathy means.”</p><p>Plo regarded him curiously, tilting his head slightly. Obi-Wan wished his face was more readable.</p><p>“Obi-Wan,” he said slowly. “Is there a reason you are interested in Little ‘Soka?”</p><p>The younger Jedi shook his head quickly. “Hm? Oh, no. No, no. Just–just curious.”</p><p>A slow nod. “I see.”</p><p>“I’ve just seen her around is all,” Obi-Wan explained quickly, his eyes flickering to the door. Anxious for escape.</p><p>“Ahsoka is a good friend to have in times of trial.”</p><p>Obi-Wan didn’t like the emphasis he placed on the last words.</p><p>“Then, I hope she’s properly appreciated in the creche,” he replied, hoping his words didn’t sound as clipped to Master Plo as they did to himself. He stood from the mat.</p><p>Plo unfolded his own legs and stood. “Do not underestimate the impact and importance of a child, Young Obi-Wan.”</p><p>“Thank you for your time, Master Plo,” Obi-Wan nodded, moving toward the door. “I have a training session I must get to.”</p><p>“Give your Padawan a warm greeting from me.”</p><p>…</p><p>“That was...good,” Obi-Wan huffed, discreetly rubbing at his arm. It was only a training saber, so it wouldn’t leave a scar or anything larger than a small bruise, really, but still–</p><p>He hadn’t expected to even get winded during this session.</p><p>“Sorry I forgot again,” Anakin frowned in frustration, swinging the saber over in his hand.</p><p>“That’s all right. Sequences are supposed to aid you in combat, because it can be difficult to have the clarity of mind for improvisation in a duel.” He ran a ragged hand through his hair. “But you...don’t seem to be struggling with that.”</p><p>“It’s just easier to move forward instead of backwards when you do the spinny thing.”</p><p>“The spinny thing,” Obi-Wan echoed hollowly. This boy had so much to learn, and yet–he somehow already knew so much. It was unsettling how powerful and quick he unknowingly was. “Yes, I noticed you deflected that easily…”</p><p><em> Too </em> easily.</p><p>“We can rest for a bit,” he said, tossing his training saber into the bin.</p><p>“I’m not tired.”</p><p>
  <em> I am. </em>
</p><p>“Rest, Padawan.” Obi-Wan repeated with a firm nod to the meditation mats nearby.</p><p>He led the way toward the floor mats and dropped to one, folding his feet into himself. Anakin hesitated, hovering right off the mat and staring down at his Master. Obi-Wan motioned for Anakin to join him.</p><p>“Are we going to meditate?” Anakin asked, struggling to pull his legs into the crossed position of Obi-Wan. </p><p>The older Jedi hesitated. He should say <em> yes</em>. Someone as untrained yet powerful in the Force as Anakin needed to master meditation sooner rather than later. And that responsibility fell on Obi-Wan.</p><p>Just as quickly, he remembered his encounter with Ahsoka in the gardens only a few days prior.</p><p>“Not today.”</p><p>“So we’re just going to...<em>sit here</em>?”</p><p>Obi-Wan fixed Anakin with a glare. “Yes.”</p><p>Anakin ducked. “Okay. Cool.”</p><p>...</p><p>Obi-Wan's bed called to him in a way it hadn't since <em>before</em>.</p><p>He’d missed it really; this feeling of being so tired, sleep would undoubtedly take him quickly and dreamlessly. The pleasant soreness of his muscles smoothing away into a full, long night.</p><p>But that was <em> before. </em>And physical exhaustion would only make his fight with his own consciousness that much harder tonight.</p><p>He paced another circle around his room, struggling against the tiredness that threatened to take him to the dark depths of his mind. He couldn't go there tonight, <em>wouldn't</em> go there tonight. To the place where he watched it happen like holo-drama on rerun. </p><p>Sometimes they weren't on Naboo. It could be Raxus, Alderaan, Pijal, or any of the hundreds of planets and systems Obi-Wan felt like he and his Master had spent time on together. But no matter the location and no matter the weapon or technique Maul chose to use–it ended the same way every time.</p><p>Obi-Wan was always too late.</p><p>He made another lap, eyes squinting against the harsh lights he refused to turn off.</p><p>...</p><p>“Master Kenobi!” </p><p>Obi-Wan looked over his shoulder. No one.</p><p>Someone cleared their throat from below him. He looked down.</p><p>“Hi,” Ahsoka grinned, all sharp teeth and squinty eyes.</p><p>He huffed a small smile. “Hello, Ahsoka.” He grabbed a ration pack and moved his tray down the line. “How is it we keep running into each other?”</p><p>She tilted her head and blinked up at him in that obnoxiously endearing way.</p><p>“Never mind,” he said, looking away to avoid the entrapments of those big blue eyes. He started to move further down the line, but paused almost immediately, sensing a shadow. </p><p>“Can I help you?” he asked, not turning around.</p><p>“You can walk <em> faster</em>. I’m hungry!”</p><p>At this, he <em> did </em> turn around. “What?”</p><p>She regarded him through narrowed eyes. “Are we eating together or not?”</p><p>“We are <em> not</em>,” he scoffed, incredulously.</p><p>She rolled her eyes. Obviously not believing him. “Well, who else are you going to eat with? You don’t have any other friends.”</p><p>First, Master Plo. Now <em> her</em>. As if this youngling, this <em> toddler</em>, was his <em> friend</em>. </p><p>Besides, his choice to eat his meals earlier than most Jedi were a purposeful effort <em>to</em> eat alone. Away from the attempts to <em>cheer him up</em> and keep his mind centred on the here and now at the Temple, because Qui-Gon hadn't been <em>lost</em>, merely <em>reclaimed</em> by the Force. Or worse–the few Jedi who <em>did</em> offer sympathetic looks and quiet sighs of 'if there's <em>anything</em> I can do–' and 'your Master would be so proud of you.'</p><p>Because that wasn't even true and every Jedi in this temple knew it.</p><p>“You’re not m–”</p><p>“Can you grab a japa juice? I can’t reach.”</p><p>“<em>Can I</em>–” He sighed deeply. Then, grabbed a japa juice and passed it down to her. “Here,” he grumbled.</p><p>“Thank you, Obi-Wan Ken<em>oooobi</em>.”</p><p>He took a deep breath and lifted his tray from the counter, turning toward the seating area. “How many more times until you get that out of your system?”</p><p>As he'd expected (and hoped), the refectory was mostly empty.</p><p>“65 gazillion at <em> least</em>.”</p><p>“That’s not a real number.”</p><p>She just giggled in response, skipping ahead of him. The youngling led the way to a small table near the center of the room and Obi-Wan, against his own better judgment, found himself following her.</p><p>He set his tray on the table and sat down, unloading his ration pack, fruit, and drink from the tray. He moved to take his tray to the depository box, but Ahsoka jumped up.</p><p>“<em>I</em><em> got it!</em>” she insisted, ripping the tray from him and stacking it on her own. She bounced across the room toward the tray deposit and then sprinted back to the table.</p><p>“Thank you,” Obi-Wan said slowly.</p><p>“No Anakin again?” she asked, stabbing her japa juice with a straw and draining the whole thing in one sip.</p><p>He watched her with thinly veiled disgust. “He’s meeting with Master Yoda.”</p><p>“Did you know he eats <em> frogs?</em>” she blurted, fixing Obi-Wan with wide eyes.</p><p>So that rumour was still prevalent in the creche. It was nice to know some things never changed.</p><p>“I’ve heard something like that before,” he nodded, taking a bite of his own hawk-bat egg. </p><p>“It’s <em> true!</em>” she cried, before taking a hefty slurp of her empty juice. Then, immediately. “<em>Don’t. Move."</em></p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Don’t <em> move</em>," she whispered hurriedly. "Your shoulders are in the perfect spot to hide me.”</p><p>“Hide you? What are you–”</p><p>She squeaked as she dove under the table. Obi-Wan frowned in confusion before the table in front of his was cast by a large shadow. He didn’t need the Force to know who was standing behind him.</p><p>He just didn’t think Master Iyoti’s presence would affect him as much as it had when he was a youngling.</p><p>“Kenobi,” the raspy voice hissed from behind him.</p><p>He peered over his shoulder and tried not to widen his eyes. She’d somehow gotten <em> scarier</em>. And <em> taller</em>.</p><p>“You haven’t seen a rogue youngling have you?”</p><p>“A...<em> what?</em>”</p><p>“A small Togruta. She’s skipping her music and culture class.” A deep sigh. “<em>Again.</em>”</p><p>Obi-Wan choked on his water. “Oh, uh...Togruta, you say?” He coughed again and then cleared his throat. “I–I can’t say that I have, Master.”</p><p>The older Jedi peered down at him through narrowed eyes. Those same eyes had scared the skin off Obi-Wan when he was in the creche. “Very well, Kenobi. Do keep a lookout.”</p><p>“Of...of course, Master.” He bobbed his head up and down so fast he gave himself a headache.</p><p>The fabric of his trousers pulled at his legs as the Togruta in question clambered up onto his lap from her spot under the table.</p><p>He made a sound of indignance, pushing away from the table.</p><p>Ahsoka threw her arms around him. “Oh, thank you, thank you, <em> thank you</em>,” she squealed into his ear. “Master Iyoti is <em> so </em> tary.”</p><p>“Tary?” he questioned, shifting uncomfortably under her tight grip.</p><p>She pulled her head back to fix him with a serious gaze. “Tary. It’s in between scary and terrifying.”</p><p>“You can’t just...make up a word.”</p><p>“I make up <em> gazillions </em> of words,” she said, throwing her arms up in the air and almost toppling off of him. He moved his hands quickly to catch her.</p><p>She beamed at him.</p><p>“What do you have against music and culture?” he said, lifting an interrogating eyebrow.</p><p>Her smile fell as her eyes flickered anywhere but his. “Oh, uh…”</p><p>“Ahsoka.”</p><p>“It’s so <em> boring</em>,” she whined. “No lightsabers!”</p><p>He snorted at this. She sounded far too similar to his own Padawan. “You don’t have to carry a weapon to be powerful.”</p><p>“But they’re so <em> cool</em>.”</p><p>“They are,” he conceded, with an amused smile.</p><p>“What colour is yours?”</p><p>“My lightsaber?”</p><p>“<em>Duh.</em>”</p><p>“Well,”– he reached for the lightsaber at his belt and remembered. His hand fell back to his side. – “I don’t...I actually need to get a new one.”</p><p>She reeled back, her face lighting up. “You can have <em> two </em> lightsabers?!”</p><p>He chuckled lightly. “You can...many Jedi practice Jar’Kai. But–I was referring to getting a <em> replacement </em> saber. I lost mine recently.”</p><p>“On Naboo,” she supplied.</p><p>“How is it you know everything, little one?”</p><p>She smiled wide with pride. “I’m smart.”</p><p>“I see,” he nodded good-naturedly, lifting her off his lap and setting her on the ground beside him. “I can’t eat my lunch with you sitting on me.”</p><p>She toddled around the table and climbed back into her own seat, taking another extra long slurp of her japa juice.</p><p>He set his fork down and raised a hand to his temple. “<em>Ahsoka</em>.”</p><p>She kept slurping, but peered up at him through her eyelashes questioningly.</p><p>“I <em> think </em> the juice is gone.”</p><p>She let go of the straw with a pop. “Well, <em> yeah</em>, but the air inside still tastes like japa berry.”</p><p>“Oh, well, <em> naturally</em>,” Obi-Wan rolled his eyes.</p><p>Finally, she pushed the juice box away from her and rested her head in her hands, elbows on the table, watching him as he ate. He didn’t know quite how to tell her to stop because it was obvious that this was just something she did–unabashedly watch people go about their daily lives without any consideration for how invasive it may be for them.</p><p>He couldn’t quite bring himself to be the one to tell her that wasn’t universally accepted as okay.</p><p>When he finished his meal and began to gather his things to take to the bin, she jumped up to grab it for him. Raced to the rubbish bin and tossed it in for him before racing right back to him at the table.</p><p>“So same time tomorrow?” she asked, bouncing in front of him.</p><p>“I–<em> what?</em>”</p><p>“Lunch,” she said with a roll of her eyes.</p><p>He scoffed. “<em>Absolutely not</em>. I should have dragged you back to the creche today!”</p><p>“But I don’t have music and culture tomorrow. Just combat technique and I <em> never </em> skip that.” She bounced on her heels. “See you tomorrow, Obi-Wan Kenoooooobi.”</p><p>“You will <em> not</em>.”</p><p>…</p><p>His begrudging disappointment in his own lack of self-will paled in comparison to seeing her gleeful smile and wave at the table when he arrived the next day.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Master Iyuti is absolutely supposed to envelop the image of Roz from Monster's Inc. <br/>and remember when angel baby Ahsoka tells Prince Lee-Char “you don’t have to carry a sword to be powerful” in the water wars arc? she got that from Obi-Wan because I SAID SO.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ahsoka has FANGS according to the ultimate authority on star wars canon: me. okay? so everybody just...keep that in mind.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He hadn’t run down the halls of the Temple since he was a youngling. Back then, he’d relished the looks from the older Masters as he blew past them, feeling the pulsing adrenaline in his heart as he laughed himself breathless, chasing Bant or Quin or whoever it happened to be this time.</p><p>Now, his robes felt like weights as they billowed behind him and he wondered when he’d gotten so <em> slow. </em></p><p>“I’m here,” he breathed, practically slamming into the countertop. The Padawan Healer looked up from her holo-pad and regarded his ragged appearance with an inquisitive eyebrow. “I was commed on...Master Che’s...channel.”</p><p><em> Force, </em> he was out of shape.</p><p>“One moment please, Master…?”</p><p>“Kenobi. Obi-Wan.”</p><p>She nodded and pushed a few buttons before a small hologram appeared in front of her.</p><p>“Master Obi-Wan Kenobi is here, Master Che.”</p><p>The Twi’lek nodded. “I’ll be there shortly.”</p><p>The hologram shut off as quickly as it had started. Obi-Wan hovered at the desk.</p><p>“You can take a seat. Master Che will be with you in a moment.”</p><p>“Take a seat?” Obi-Wan asked incredulously. “If my Padawan is hurt...I’d like to see him <em>now</em>, please.”</p><p>“Master Che will be with you <em> in a moment</em>,” the Padawan repeated.</p><p>Obi-Wan huffed impatiently. “I was told to come down here <em> immediately </em> and–”</p><p>“Master Kenobi,” a sharp voice interrupted from the hall beside him. He turned expectantly, taking in the approaching Healer. She smiled tightly. “Thank you for coming.”</p><p>“What’s this about?” he demanded.</p><p>“If you’ll come with me–”</p><p>“Is Anakin okay?”</p><p>Master Che blinked in annoyance at his interruption, but continued to lead the way down the hall. “As far as I know.”</p><p>Obi-Wan stayed hot on her heels. “As far as you <em>know?</em>” he scoffed. “Well, if you <em>don’t</em> <em>know</em>, then why am I–”</p><p>Vokara stopped walking, abruptly, and Obi-Wan had to catch himself from stumbling into her. “You’re not here because of your<em> Padawan</em>, Kenobi.”</p><p>He reeled back at that. Not here because of Anakin? Then, what the hell was he doing here?</p><p>“I’m not–”</p><p>“In here,” she said, resuming her walk and keying in a code outside one of the healing room doors.</p><p>Obi-Wan frowned in confusion, but followed her nonetheless.</p><p>The Healer stepped aside for Obi-Wan to see the patient in the bed–his frown deepened, as did his confusion.</p><p>“Master Che,” he whispered so as not to wake up the sleeping youngling. “I don’t–I’m sorry, but...am I supposed to know who that is?”</p><p>She sighed. “I suppose not. Do you notice anything about him?”</p><p>Obi-Wan squinted as he took in the small child. A little older than Anakin, maybe.</p><p>“He…” Obi-Wan paused. “<em>Kriff</em>, is that a <em> bite </em> mark...on his <em> jaw? </em>”</p><p>Vokara crossed her arms. Unimpressed. “It is.” She stepped back into the hall, motioning for Obi-Wan to follow. The door slid shut behind them. “He also has a broken foot.”</p><p>“That’s...unfortunate.”</p><p>She nodded. “Are you curious as to what that youngling has to do with you?”</p><p>He swallowed and nodded.</p><p>“Come,” she commanded, flicking her head and moving down the hall. Her lekku curled in irritation as she walked ahead of him. Finally, she stopped at another room and punched in a new code, a bit aggressively. Obi-Wan held his breath for whatever sight they were about to find, as the door slid open.</p><p>“<em>Obi-Wan Kenoooobi!</em>”</p><p>He froze, his hands falling limp at his sides.</p><p>“You see, Master Kenobi,” Vokara Che bit off, sharply, turning toward him. “You’re in a compromising position.”</p><p>“What did <em> I do?</em>” he cried indignantly.</p><p>“<em>Ask this one</em>,” Master Che jutted a finger toward the Togruta sitting up in the bed with a wide grin.</p><p>He turned to her. “<em>Ahsoka</em>.”</p><p>“Hi,” she said, wiggling around on the pillow.</p><p>“What did you do?”</p><p>Vokara released a deep sigh of impatience. “I’ll leave you to it.” And she was gone, the door sliding shut behind her.</p><p>Obi-Wan stayed near the door as he lifted an eyebrow in her direction.</p><p>“Well?”</p><p>“<em>Well</em>,” she began, “I sprained my wrist.” She held up the brace like it was a trophy.</p><p>“I see that,” he said mildly. “How, may I ask?”</p><p>She chewed on her lip, then. Guilty. His eyes narrowed.</p><p>“It’s a long story,” she said. </p><p>Obi-Wan leaned against the wall and crossed his arms, letting her know that he wasn’t going anywhere.</p><p>“Right,” she squeaked, before taking a dramatic gulp of air and speaking as quickly as she could on the inhale. “Well, <em>basically</em> Garu and Ti’ia were talking about their new lightsabers and so I asked to seem them obviously because I know a good lightsaber when I see one and I knew that Garu and Ti’ia were the people to build stupid ones and so anyway when I went up to them I overheard them mentioning another Padawan from their classes and as I kept listening I realised they were talking about Anakin and even though I don’t <em> know </em> Anakin, I still <em> know </em> him, you know? But anyway then I realised they were making <em> fun </em> of him and being meanies and so I told them to stop because Master Nu says being a meanie is against the Jedi Code and then Garu called me a...a...well, I don’t remember what but it was <em> mega meanie </em> and so I punched him in the shoulder and then he tried to push me.” A deep gasp as her face turned alight shade of purple. “So I bit him in the face.”</p><p>Obi-Wan blinked.</p><p>“Oh, and by the way, their lightsabers <em> were </em> stupid, just like I knew they would be, so I told them that!”</p><p>“I...you...<em>Ahsoka, WHAT?!</em>”</p><p>“<em>What?</em>” she cried, shrugging her shoulders.</p><p>Obi-Wan ran a hand down his face, grounding himself in <em> peace</em>. He was a Jedi, for kriff’s sake. He could handle this youngling.</p><p>“He got stitches on his face,” he managed.</p><p>“Yeah, Master Che told me.” She frowned, as if a thought just occurred to her. “I don’t think she likes me very much.”</p><p>“Ahsoka, you <em> bit </em>him. And broke his foot!”</p><p>“I didn’t mean to do that part!!!! It was when he fell!” She insisted. “Besides, it was <em> his </em>fault for–”</p><p>“<em>No</em>. Absolutely <em> not</em>. I will not stand here while you make concessions for yourself and blame the poor child with <em> stitches </em> on his jaw.”</p><p>“<em>He was being a meanie</em>,” she grumbled, folding her arms across her chest and offering her best pout. It was...well-practiced.</p><p>Obi-Wan shut his eyes. “Violence is not the answer.”</p><p>“But he was–”</p><p>“Being a <em> meanie</em>,” Obi-Wan sighed. “Yes. I know.” He pushed off the wall and crossed the room, sitting on the edge of her bed. Ahsoka crawled across the bed toward him, paying no mind to her injured wrist. </p><p>“You said they were...talking about Anakin?” he asked, quietly.</p><p>“Yeah,” she said, leaning into his side. Her stubby montrals poked into him. “They said he can’t...that he can’t read.”</p><p>Obi-Wan frowned at the floor. “Can’t read?”</p><p>She nodded against him. “That slaves don’t get taught how to read.”</p><p>Anger flashed through Obi-Wan. Those <em> cruel </em> Padawans. What had Ahsoka said their names were? He’d find their Masters later today and have a <em> conversation </em> with them. To accuse his student of not knowing how to <em> read</em>. It was a ridiculous statement and one that was obviously only intended to disparage the new Jedi. As if he didn’t have enough adversity to overcome, without lies from his classmates circulating about the Temple.</p><p>“I see,” he said. “And so when they said this, that’s when you...bit the boy?”</p><p>“Yeah,” she sighed. And he thought he heard a little remorse seep into her tone.</p><p>“Your crechemasters won’t be happy with you.”</p><p>“I know,” she said, dejectedly. “They never are.”</p><p>His eyebrows lifted. “What do you mean?” he probed carefully.</p><p>She pulled her head away from his side and looked up at him. “I’m not...I can’t be <em> good </em> like the others.”</p><p>“I don’t believe that. There’s good in everyone.”</p><p>“Some,” she agreed. “But not <em> enough</em>. I...I talk too much.”</p><p>And he was reminded. Of a speckly git with long legs and big ears that couldn’t quite keep his mouth shut in the front of his Force Theory class. Couldn’t quite stop himself from correcting Master Chira when she misquoted the legendary Likon Sii. </p><p>“I don’t believe there’s such a thing as talking too much,” he said. “There <em> are </em> appropriate times and inappropriate times, but never too <em> much </em> . You’re passionate and learning new things everyday. You <em> should </em> talk about those things.”</p><p>“But not bite people in the face.”</p><p>“<em>But </em>not bite people in the face,” he agreed, the corners of his lips twitching upwards. “I don’t condone your actions, obviously, but...I do thank you for standing up for my Padawan. As Jedi, we must always be ready to defend those who cannot defend themselves.”</p><p>She leaned back against him, bumping his arm up with her head and nestling into his side. He rested his arm around her small shoulders.</p><p>“You’re the best Jedi in the whole <em> galaxy</em>,” she said, sighing in awe. “He will be, too, one day. I know it.”</p><p>…</p><p>Anakin had started to talk more. Asking questions, making observations, giving updates and telling stories from his classes when he and Obi-Wan ate together in the evening. He was settling in to life at the Temple and had more personality and energy than he had in those first days.</p><p>But he was quiet tonight.</p><p>“I’m going on a trip soon,” Obi-Wan said slowly, unsure how his Padawan would take this. “To Ilum.”</p><p>Anakin pushed his meatball around on his plate.</p><p>“It’s time for me to build a new lightsaber.”</p><p>The meatball rolled to the edge of the plate.</p><p>Obi-Wan cleared his throat. “I...I wondered if you’d like to come with me.”</p><p>It fell onto the table and rolled off onto the floor.</p><p>“<em>Anakin.</em>” Obi-Wan said, loudly. The boy looked up as if he had only just heard his Master speaking to him. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>“Huh?” Anakin shook his head. “Oh, nothing, Master. I’m just...nothing.”</p><p>The older Jedi studied him for a moment, but decided to leave it. “Did you hear me?”</p><p>“Hear what?”</p><p>He sighed. “I asked if you’d like to come with me when I go get my crystal for my new lightsaber.”</p><p>“Oh,” Anakin said. Shrugged his shoulders. “Sure.”</p><p>“Sure?” That <em> hardly </em> seemed an appropriate response for an invitation to <em> Ilum</em>, but Obi-Wan supposed he didn’t have the context to understand the importance of the planet.</p><p>“Whatever you want, Obi.”</p><p>Obi-Wan’s eyes narrowed. “I <em> want </em> for you to pick the meatball of the floor and tell me what’s gotten into you tonight.”</p><p>Anakin practically fell out of his chair in his effort to retrieve the fallen food. “Sorry, Master,” he grumbled from under the table. He bumped his head on the way back up and grunted.</p><p>“What’s wrong? Did something happen in your classes today?”</p><p>“No!” Anakin insisted quickly. Too quickly.</p><p>And then it struck Obi-Wan...perhaps he’d been too quick to brush off Ahsoka’s words. It seemed impossible, but...what if–</p><p>He stood up from the table. “I’ll be right back.”</p><p>Obi-Wan popped into his quarters–<em>Qui-Gon’s quarters</em>–and returned to the table with a holo-pad. He placed it on the table in front of him and made a show of squinting at it, making noises of frustration and rubbing at his eyes every few seconds for good measure.</p><p>He was quite proud of his acting, if he was being honest.</p><p>“Padawan,” he said finally. “Would you mind helping me? I’ve been looking at this blasted screen all day and my eyes are <em> killing </em> me.”</p><p>Anakin pushed away from the table, already on his feet. “Should I go get a Healer or–”</p><p>“No, no,” Obi-Wan shook his head and motioned for Anakin to return to his seat. He did. “I just need you to read this message for me. It’s from Master Yoda, so it may be important.”</p><p>Anakin tensed up immediately. “Master, if...if your eyes are hurting you, I should...I should really go get Master Che.”</p><p>“Nonsense, Anakin. Just read the message for me.”</p><p>“No, you need medical–”</p><p>“<em>Anakin</em>. Read it. It’s important.”</p><p>“Master Obi-Wan, I really think that I should just go–”</p><p>“<em>Anakin!!</em>” Obi-Wan snapped, harshly. “Read the <em>damn holo-pad</em>.”</p><p>The tears welled up in the boy’s eyes immediately and Obi-Wan dropped his head into his hands.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” he said on a breath. “Anakin, I’m...<em>so </em> sorry.”</p><p>Anakin struggled to withhold his sniffles.</p><p>Obi-Wan rose from his chair and moved around the table, resting a tentative hand on Anakin’s shoulder. “Anakin,” he said seriously. “I mean it, I’m...I’m sorry. I can...I’ll just read the message later. It’s no problem. I didn’t mean to...to pressure to like that.”</p><p>“But...Master <em> Yoda </em> ...and,” – a deep sniff – “<em>important</em>.”</p><p>Obi-Wan was <em> cruel</em>. There <em> was </em> no new message from Master Yoda. It was one from days ago and Obi-Wan had planned to laugh it off and say he was more tired than he thought when Anakin realised that fact. It had been a trick. A trap.</p><p>What kind of <em>Master</em> set those for their <em>Padawan?</em></p><p>“No,” Obi-Wan soothed. “It’s not important.”</p><p>“How do you <em> know?</em>” Anakin huffed, rubbing furiously at his eyes. “You can’t see and I...I can’t even help because…” He trembled under Obi-Wan’s hand. “Because I can’t even <em> read</em>.”</p><p>And there it was.</p><p>Obi-Wan squeezed his eyes shut and squeezed Anakin’s shoulder beneath him. “That’s quite all right, my Padawan,” he heard himself whisper, even as the painful shocks coursed through his chest. “Quite all right.”</p><p>Anakin looked up at Obi-Wan, through glistening eyes. “You’re not...mad?”</p><p>“Mad?” Obi-Wan’s heart shattered and he kneeled to the ground, leveling with Anakin. “Of course not. This is simply another lesson I have the privilege of teaching you.”</p><p>“M’too <em> old</em>,” Anakin muttered. “The other initiates say so.”</p><p>So Ahsoka hadn’t been the only one to overhear such conversations. The spike of anger returned, poking and prodding at the back of Obi-Wan’s consciousness.</p><p>“Do you doubt my abilities to teach you?”</p><p>
  <em> You should. </em>
</p><p>Anakin’s eyes widened. “<em>No</em>, Master, I just–”</p><p>“Then you’ll learn. And that’s that, my young friend.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>it's midnight, oops! but after a long few weeks of general blech-ness followed by an uncharacteristic winter freeze down here in the south...here ya go!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The counter-top wasn’t getting any cleaner, but Obi-Wan scrubbed at it anyway. He’d already read, changed out the sheets on his bed and Anakin’s, grabbed lunch, read <em> some more</em>–</p><p>But he found that, without Anakin demanding his attention, he didn’t really have many things that genuinely held his interest. He wasn’t sure when <em> that </em> had become his reality.</p><p>After a month of Obi-Wan walking Anakin to and from his classes, the boy had stood in the kitchen at breakfast that morning and proudly announced that he would walk by him<em> self </em> today, thank you very much. Obi-Wan had only been able to blink and nod a quick, “Very well.”</p><p>It wasn’t as if this were unusual; Qui-Gon certainly hadn’t walked <em> him </em> to his classes. But a part of Obi-Wan still felt bereft. Like he’d lost a small purpose, if Anakin no longer needed him to show him where things were or merely keep him company on his walk to and from class.</p><p>A small, but incessant knock at the door pulled him from his reverie.</p><p>“Come in,” he called, swiping over the spotless countertop one more time for good measure.</p><p>The door slid open and Obi-Wan was rather proud of how unaffected he was by the visitor. He’d gotten quite good at <em> expecting </em> her to somehow find her way into every nook and cranny of his life.</p><p>Ahsoka tottered in and plopped herself on the couch, as if this was her own residence and not quarters she’d never been in before.</p><p>“Yes, hello, welcome to my home,” Obi-Wan said, rolling his eyes as he moved into the living room. He gave her a significant look.</p><p>She shrugged, indifferently. “You <em> said </em> ‘come <em> in</em>.’”</p><p>“I did,” he sighed. Resigning himself to yet another loss against the youngling.</p><p>She didn’t say anything. Just sat on the couch, swinging her legs that didn’t quite reach the floor. Her eyes scanned the ceiling and walls, before finally falling back on Obi-Wan. Unimpressed.</p><p>“It’s boring in here.”</p><p>“This is what <em> most </em> Jedi quarters look like.”</p><p>“Master Plo has a tank in his room.”</p><p>“Master <em> Plo </em> doesn’t breathe <em> oxygen</em>.”</p><p>She wrinkled her nose like this was inconsequential.</p><p>“Is there a reason you’ve somehow managed to track down my quarters? Or was it just to insult my interior decorating skills?”</p><p>“I was bored,” she said simply.</p><p>Obi-Wan wanted to laugh. What bored <em> youngling </em> decided an adequate use of her free time was to visit a Knight in his quarters?</p><p>“Wanna play a game?”</p><p>He frowned. “I don’t...play games.”</p><p>“Why <em> not?</em>” she asked in mild disgust.</p><p>“Because I’m <em> busy</em>, Ahsoka. I have a Padawan to take care of. I–”</p><p>“He’s not here.”</p><p>“He’ll be here <em> soon</em>.”</p><p>“Does <em> he </em> like games?” she asked, her eyes lighting up.</p><p>Obi-Wan opened his mouth to respond, then closed it immediately. He suddenly realised that he didn’t know the answer. He should...he <em> absolutely </em> should. But he’d ever thought to ask <em> what </em> Anakin liked to do for fun.</p><p>He’d been rather enamoured by the holo-pad when Obi-Wan had shown him it’s various functions, but beyond that...well. They’d mostly just...eaten, studied, talked, slept.</p><p>“I’m sure he does–” His head turned to the door as it slid open. “Ah, there he is now.” He stood up and offered Anakin a smile. “Made it back in one piece, I see.”</p><p>“<em>Obi</em>,” he gasped in excitement. “Listen, listen, <em> listen</em>.” He dropped his bag to the floor–in the middle of the <em> doorway </em> , Obi-Wan noticed with a grimace–and rushed toward the couch. “Today in class, Loni asked about <em> Vaapad </em> and so…” He took a breath, before resuming his babble. “Master Windu was like,” he dropped his voice theatrically, “‘<em>well, I think that lightsaber technique is more about–</em>’”</p><p>“Master Windu doesn’t talk like that,” Ahsoka said, matter-of-factly.</p><p>Anakin’s mouth hung open as his eyes grew to double their size. He noticed Ahsoka sitting on the couch for the first time and immediately stood up straight.</p><p>Straighter than Obi-Wan had ever seen him, in fact, because, <em> honestly</em>, the boy was always <em> slouching</em>. “Can I talk to you in the kitchen, Master?” he asked with an air of self-importance.</p><p>Obi-Wan lifted an eyebrow and glanced from the kitchen to where he was currently sitting. Jedi quarters were small and there were maybe five feet of difference between the two locations.</p><p>“<em>Please?</em>” Anakin asked through gritted teeth.</p><p>With a deep sigh, Obi-Wan stood from his chair and followed Anakin the few footsteps it took to get to the kitchen. Immediately, Anakin pulled him down to eye-level by his tabards. Obi-Wan scoffed indignantly at the rough motion, but Anakin’s serious expression didn’t falter.</p><p>“Why is there a girl in here?” he hissed in Obi-Wan’s face.</p><p>The older Jedi reeled back. “That’s Ahsoka. You met her, remember?”</p><p>“A <em> girl</em>,” Anakin insisted.</p><p>“Surely you’ve seen a <em> girl </em>before?”</p><p>“<em>Obi</em>,” Anakin said grumpily.</p><p>“She just stopped by for a few minutes. I have visitors from time to time...no need to get so worked up,” Obi-Wan said with a shrug.</p><p>Anakin shook his head with a frown. “No, you don’t.”</p><p>“I do,” Obi-Wan nodded. “Remember just last week...er, two weeks ago perhaps, Master Unduli–”</p><p>“Master Unduli has never been here.”</p><p>“Yes, she <em> has</em>.”</p><p>“Not since I’ve lived here.”</p><p>“Anakin,” Obi-Wan said firmly. “It’s unbecoming to be so hostile to a visitor. Ahsoka is–”</p><p>“Master. You don’t have visitors. You don’t talk to <em> anyone</em>.”</p><p>Obi-Wan paused. <em> Anyone? </em> Is that what his Padawan thought? </p><p>But as he truly considered Anakin’s words, he realised that Luminara hadn’t been over since before Naboo. It hadn’t been Anakin rustling around in the kitchen while they talked in the common area; it had been <em> Qui-Gon. </em></p><p>“I–well, I suppose I’ve been busy.” Obi-Wan blinked.</p><p>Anakin sighed. “Is she leaving soon?”</p><p>“Yes. Now stop being rude and go be friendly.”</p><p>Anakin trudged his way out of the kitchen, leaving Obi-Wan alone, still crouching on the ground. He watched the space on the floor where Anakin had been and took a deep breath. Ran a hand down the length of his face and stood up, evening his expression and joining the younglings in the living room.</p><p>“Anakin,” he said, narrowing his eyes at the way his Padawan stayed as far down the couch as possible from Ahsoka. “I was just about to tell Ahsoka about our upcoming trip.”</p><p>“To <em> Ilum</em>.” Anakin piped up loudly. “I’m gonna help Obi-Wan build his <em> lightsaber</em>.” There was a clear taunt there. Obi-Wan shot a glare toward the young boy.</p><p>“You can’t <em> help someone </em> build their <em> lightsaber</em>,” Ahsoka scoffed with a wrinkled nose. “That’s <em> cheating</em>.”</p><p>“No!” Anakin said, his voice jumping an octave in volume <em> and </em> pitch. “Master Obi-Wan <em> said </em>.”</p><p>“I <em> said</em>,” Obi-Wan interrupted, fixing them both with harsh looks, “that I would enjoy some company on my trip.”</p><p>“And he asked <em> me</em>,” Anakin said victoriously.</p><p>Obi-Wan sighed, his gaze flickering between the two younglings as they glared at each other from opposite ends of the couch. When he’d imagined his life as a shiny new Knight, he hadn’t imagined it consisting of visiting hours for a six-year-old. Or a Padawan, for that matter. </p><p>…</p><p>“B-buh….ah...guh…” Anakin squinted at the holo-pad in deep concentration. Finally, his eyes popped back open and he smiled widely. “Bog!!”</p><p>“Er, <em> bag</em>, actually, but...good try,” Obi-Wan offered. Anakin slumped on the couch next to him, crestfallen and frustrated with the difficulties of reading. THey’d only been working on it for a few nights, so he needn’t be so hard on himself. But that conversation never seemed to land the way Obi-Wan wanted it to.</p><p>“Why don’t I…read aloud? Just for tonight?” he asked lightly.</p><p>“You already <em> know </em> how to read,” the younger Jedi grumbled.</p><p>“True,” Obi-Wan nodded slowly. “But if you look at the words while I say them, perhaps you can connect the sounds in your mind?”</p><p>Anakin chewed on his lip, considering this for a moment, before giving a short nod. Obi-Wan gently took the holo-pad from Anakin’s hands. He shifted to allow Anakin to keep the words on the screen in view, but Anakin had a different idea. His legs unfolded from under him on the couch and he moved closer to Obi-Wan. Instead of sitting next to him, however, he climbed up onto Obi-Wan and settled on his lap.</p><p>“Oh,” Obi-Wan said, shifting to avoid the head of hair now filling his vision. “Well...all right.” He swallowed and cleared his throat. “<em>The Padawan at the Park</em>,” he began.</p><p>It was a book designed for early readers, so it should have only taken a few moments to finish. But Anakin insisted on repeating just about every sentence after Obi-Wan, so the first read-through of the book took a full half-hour. And then Anakin asked Obi-Wan to start over, of course.</p><p>On the fourth read-through, Anakin had stopped repeating after Obi-Wan, and chose to simply listen, his head nestled just a little further into Obi-Wan’s chest, his right hand clutching at the front of the older Jedi’s tunic.</p><p>“–and said ‘thank you!’ for another long day.” Obi-Wan laid the holo-pad on the couch beside him. “The end.” Anakin didn’t demand another read-through, much to Obi-Wan’s relief. “Perhaps, tomorrow, you can read to me,” he said. “But for tonight...time for bed, I think, hm?”</p><p>He was met with quiet.</p><p>“Anakin?” Obi-Wan shifted to see the boy’s face. Eyes closed, mouth open in a small ‘o,’ as his chest rose and fell in rhythmic, long breaths. Obi-Wan sighed, a small smile playing on his own face. Asleep. There was a joke about Obi-Wan’s ability to entertain somewhere in there, but he didn’t much mind now.</p><p>Instead, he shifted to the side, bringing his legs up onto the couch, and stretched across it, horizontally. Carefully, he moved Anakin until he was laying next to him instead of atop him, hand still tightly gripping the front of Obi-Wan’s tunic.</p><p>For the first time since Naboo, Obi-Wan slept through the night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>there's just something inherently soft about reading someone to sleep, okay?</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading and, as always, comments/kudos are greatly appreciated.</p><p>Follow along with my Star Wars hyperfixation on my <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/giggles-and-freckles"> tumblr </a>!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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